Staunton Star - Times - Published in the Interest of the Staunton Community for Over 143 Years

By: Jill Pertler

I’ve spent all of my life in the north, where winter is winter and snow is snow. The snow falls down from the sky. If you want to get to work in the morning you often have to rid your driveway of it.

Out of necessity, most of us have snow blowers, or shovels on a lesser day. Blowing the driveway (and sidewalks and walkways) typically, happens more than a few times each winter, which, by the way, often lasts for at least six months.

Blowing the snow is something northerners do, because they have to.

Those of us living in the tundra blow the snow so we can back up our vehicles past it and pretend it doesn’t exist. There is no need to do anything more because when spring comes (and it inevitably does, thank goodness) the snow melts and the problem of snow mounds blocking the view of your neighbor’s yard takes care of itself.

Snow is one of those problems in life that just goes away, if you wait long enough. I wish more problems were like that. Sigh.

But I digress.

In the north, we have four seasons. One is winter. As mentioned, winter is often as short as six months long. The other three seasons share the rest of the year. There are various yard tasks with each season, but notably, in the fall we deal with falling leaves.

They descend from deciduous trees and plant themselves (well, not literally) in our front and back yards. Many people do not like fallen leaves in their yards or boulevards so they take measures to remove them.

In the north this does not typically involve any type of snow blower or blow dryer. The tool of choice is most often a technologically simple, non-battery-operated rake. We rake the leaves into piles. Sometimes we jump on the piles in the name of fun, but at the end of the day we take those leaves and put them in large garbage bags and dispose of them. Some people even prop the full leaf bags alongside their house in order to beef up insulation during the long cold winter.

We northern folk are a hardy and resourceful lot.

I recently took a respite from the north to spend time in the south. Winter here, in essence, is snow-less, snow blower-less, winter-less and without black ice. I am in my glory.

But I have noticed one indisputable carryover from the north. People here may not have snow to blow, but that doesn’t keep them from blowing nature around. In the south, without snow, people blow leaves.

They blow their leaves from one side of lawn to the other. From one side of the road to the other. The blowing never stops, because the leaves don’t really go anywhere, at least not for long. For a northerner who’s never experienced this, it is a most curious thing.

Blowing the leaves must feel powerful. They are light and airy. The noise pollution is not. It can grab you from a slumbering sleep in the morning, leaving you to wonder, what is more of a nuisance: leaves or noise?

My neighbors don’t seemed concerned about noise pollution – no matter how early in the morning. They all seem so happy and determined about their leaf blowing.

To give them credit, there is likely more purpose to their efforts than I can initially ascertain. I’m sure that’s true. But, for a rookie leaf blowing observer it is confusing. People blow leaves, but the leaves never seem to go away permanently. In my experience to accomplish that requires the intervention of trash bags intersecting with a pickup truck and a landfill or large composting site.

Unless, of course, you leave the leaves under a very large snowbank and they decompose over a six to eight month winter. That’s always worked for me in the past.

The thought of that right now makes me shiver. And it might just blow my neighbors away.

Jill Pertler is an award-winning syndicated columnist, published playwright and author. Don’t miss a slice; follow the Slices of Life page on Facebook.